I hated roller coasters as a child and still don’t really like them. Well, in fact I may have really been only on one. Is it because I don’t enjoy excitement in life? No, it’s that I do not like the ups and downs. So what does this mean with life now. After a summer of writing, cutting, editing, cutting, rearranging, and the son, my dissertation is in the hands of my committee now as I await my oral defense in two days. Yea, one hurdle is done! Shouldn’t I be jumping off the walls? Well, yes and now.
If you have read before, you may know my “job” stance right now. After a long year with many interviews, but no offers I got a one year job “placed in my hands” at a great school near the Twin Cities. Yea, no moving. I get to have my party at my house, But what this means is that I hit the job market again and I feel ill about it all ready. The insecurities have came out of the closet.
Okay, so this year I will have the PhD done which gives me an “edge.”‘ I also was told by a kind professor at a good school that despite my fears about teaching vs. research on my CV, I am at where I should be. That is showing potential. That makes me feel good.
But what doesn’t is listening to others ramble on about the job market without having been on it and their egotistical attitudes taking force to hide their insecurities. I was told that a fellow grad student in my dept set the number record of interviews at ASA. Who really cares? This actually irritates me. One, this person will never go to these schools, so this is wasting their time. Then, this person told me he already had an offer from a place he had not officially interviewed with. Come on… until you’ve been there to do the interview and it is in writing, you cannot say this. But moreover, this person told me in going to meet with the top name schools at the meetings in their “private” get to know you interviews that they set themselves up to be like this. What the hell does this mean?
I’ll give you my take. Yes, you are a great stats person. And yes, you have been the “yes” person to many people and thus done many RAs that have resulted in publications. But on the other hand, I do question some things about this. First, did you ever truly devise your own study, collect all your own data (including getting access to sites), have to make your own time lines, and the so forth. What data do you get to bring with you to your next job? I have my own data and lots of it. I also have fresh ideas on my own. I also know I can handle the ability to teach 3-4 classes a semester, do research, do service, and have my family.
I don’t know how these things are read by search committees and my guess it might be different by different schools. But if you see me with my hands over my ears it may be because someone is talking about the job market in these kinds of ways. We’ve all worked hard to get where we are at or we would not be in grad school. Don’t make me feel inadequate with phrases, “I set myself up like this”. BS. There is much to say about this remark in its gendered, racialized, and class tones, but I don’t have the energy to get into to it.
So as I trek back on the job market journey, I have a lot underneath my belt. I have my PhD and the experience of doing it before. Yes, I hope to have a job for next year and my biggest hope this year is to have this underneath my belt. But I refuse to put others down in the process. Be kind people. The academic world is small and people can smell attitude as much as they can count numbers.
Thanks world for letting me get this off my chest.
