Random Thoughts

What are the general random things you think about?  Here are some of mine concerning our house

About our house: It was built in 1909 and it’s the general Victorian style.  Things I wonder about:

a) Why there was no heat in the kitchen? (we have radiators). Was this assuming the oven would heat the area? Was the kitchen a new addition (a possibility, but then what was the kitchen)?

b) Why the light switch by our front door controls a light both on the 1st floor entry ways and then the light in the hallway on the 2nd floor? You may need that light on the first floor, but it’s annoying to the people in the bedrooms on the 2nd floor?

c) Why in general older houses have not wired lights in the living room?

d) Why our bathroom on the 2nd floor is bigger than any of the original bedrooms.

If some of my fellow bloggers are reading this, I tag Plains Feminist and Watershed to make a list of things they wonder about…

Lessons on raising children

You hear many parents and child care “experts” state that babies and children need routine. This makes them feel safe and secure. Though I do not deny the safety and security, I am curious about this idea of routine and it is leads to rigid thinking as an adult that makes it difficult to deal with change and uncertaintity, which is something I believe is certain in our lifetimes (economic downturns, job insecurity, job changes, climate changes, whatever, you get my point…)

We are in a society where things will change. The economy is not all right and we have to question when it will be. Our welfare state is in a sad state compared to other countries to help alleviate the burden of the capitalist market on families and people. I think my dad is one of the few people left who received a pension upon his retirement (and he smartly took the lump sum and invested it).  But my point is again, our world is not secure.  I remember from my psych major (and I was a soc one also) and talking about Maslow’s hierarchy of needs and the idea of feeling stable. I’ve also worked with people with mental disabilities where routine was very important to their feelings of control  and agency. Though I am not critiquing the idea of routine, I wonder if we should change our focus on pushing the routine of daily life to helping children (and even ourselves) have the “appropriate” coping skills of dealing with change and uncerainity.

This also makes me wonder if this is class issue.  Comparing to my partner, he grew up with little money and moving frequently. He’s much better at dealing with pending changes than I am.  Even sociological work on class, race, and childhood (such as the book “Unequal Childhoods”) shows that parents in different class backgrounds socialize their children much differently in terms of structured and unstructured play and activities.  I think this adds to the point that even for middle class parents, middle class stability is a not a guarantee.

absent minded & winter tips

I woke up at 5:00 am today… not completely abnormal, as last semester while I was in the midst of personal and academic stress, I could fall asleep fine, but would wake up as early as 4:30 am.  It’s been awhile since I have been up this early. I did laundry, revised a paper, did the dishes, etc… But I feel a bit absent minded today.  I generally do not need to look at my calendar, but forgot a chiro appointment this morning. My cell phone also started acting up by shutting off on its own. Maybe because we’ve already reached the “high” temperature for today this morning and it’s a wind chill below zero?

But since it’s one of those biter cold January days, I will offer my advice on living in the tundra.

1)  Don’t let your gas tank get low. It can freeze. It’s not a myth or urban legend.

2) Don’t shut off your heat if you think it’s too much money and you live in an old house without descent insulation. Your pipes can freeze. It’s no fun to stand there with a blow dryer or heat gun and it’s even less fun if your pipes would burst.

3) On that note, don’t use a gas stove to heat your space (i.e. opening it up…). This is dangerous people!

4) In the old days or if your car is older, you might have had to plug it in. Newer cars (and mine is around 9 years old) don’t have the plugs in anymore. Thus, don’t waste your time searching for it and then have the car place laugh at you when you call.

5) Wear gloves and hats people! I don’t care how you look. Keep the heat in! Frost-bite is no fun!

6) If you let your car warm up and live in Mpls, you should not leave it. You can get a ticket for this and if someone ends up stealing your car, you will still get a ticket (trust me, it happens as I have seen this in parking lots!).

7) Lastly, though it’s not snowing today, four wheel drive does no good on the ice.

Stay warm!

5 things/Regrets/Non-Regrets

Taking the lead from Plains Feminist, I will do my list/explanation of regrets/non-regrets.

Regrets: 1) Not studying abroad during college; 2) not taking time off between college and graduate school to explore; 3) having fear hold me back;  4) not keeping up with gymnastics or another sport; 5) not always being the best friend, partner, etc I can be

Non-Regrets: 1) Having Baby Bunky; 2) getting married; 3) going to graduate school; 4) going to college and living in Nebraska; 5) having Baby Bunky early in Nebraska to share with family and friends

What I find interesting at this point in my life, I do regret some things. But I also realize that regret can lead to guilt and to focus on things I do not regret or am happy for, put me in a more positive mindset.

Iowa… my home state

So the Iowa caucuses are done. But before and during this time, it seemed that everyone had their take on what “Iowans” were like.  This frustrates me from a feminist perspective.

Let me give you an example. I was in NYC doing research and visiting a friend.  We went to dinner with her friends. One of her friends had read an article in the New Yorker or some similar publication about the proposed South Dakota abortion ban. I was given a lecture, based on this article, on what South Dakota was like.  People, I grew up right next to this state (drive over a street from my hometown and your in SD). I felt like a child who was being told what I was supposedly like. Not I am not saying that I can speak with generalizability or authority about what IA and SD are like for EVERYONE.

But I can say that I was born and raised in Iowa (18 good years). My family has lived there ever since they immigrated from various other countries. My family still lives there. My dad, in his volunteer duties for the Elks, had my mom and I traveling all over the state when  I was younger.

Why does this matter?  I feel frustrated when I receive messages on listserves and hear news casts about how “Iowans” feel about issues . First, I do not think you cal put all “Iowans” in one category and say they feel the same way. Second, I also question, particularly  for newscasters,where and how they come up with their ideas (i.e. what methodology did they use and is it generalizable?) But also, like the example of a New Yorker telling me what it’s like where I am from , I question on how those who are not even from the area get to describe it. I know as a social scientist, this is what we do in some ways, but at least we get information from the people we are researching.

This leads to another question… is this about geographical stratification in the US?  Northerners make assumptions about Southerners and vice versa.  You hear Midwesterners talking about those “rude” New Yorkers (which they are not and I love being in NYC with the all the fast paced people!). But I question if this is about the “popular” parts of the country (i.e. a social capital argument here) talking about how the “unpopular” people feel?  I do not have an answer for this and believe it would need to be empirically studied. And maybe I’m doing the same thing, since I have never lived outside the Midwest. But I think we can take some lessons from the evolution of feminisms to be more inclusive. Don’t make assumptions about what people think, need or want. Truly ask them or even better, let them speak.

txt messages

I will admit I like my cell phone. I can call people when I want and from where I want.  I have a phone when I am out of town.   But my new pet peeve is text messaging.  Not entirely, but there are a few things that deserve a discussion.

1) Please do not text message me emotional things (i.e. telling me something in 4 words or fewer that I may not see till I actually look at my phone).  Call me if it is something that is so personal.

2) Do not text me random messages for an hour, when I have to pay for each message.  If you are going to text me, at least answer the phone if I call.  I do not like having to “type” on my phone back and forth, paying for one sentence or less messages, and then if I do want to talk about what was sent, ignore the phone call.

Does this mean I dislike text-messaging? No, I actually think it is useful, but as others discuss the etiquette of cell phones in general,  these are mine with text messaging.  If I ignore your text, this may be why.

The ending of a semester: Read your syllabus!

I do like teaching, but one of the hardest things as an instructor is to give a “F”. I do not like to flunk people. But at the same time, I am very CLEAR on my syllabus about the points needed to get various grades. However, students often times neglect to read the syllabus or do not check back to this section on grading. Thus, I get students contacting me after each semester who want to “negotiate” their grade with me. Sometimes, I have made a mistake and I think it is great students are able to advocate for themselves. However, sometimes students have the idea just because they did the assignment they should be passing the course (or if they didn’t do one assignment, just “doing” the others will allow them to pass).  But the point is that you would have to do very well on the other assignments to miss one that is a large percentage of the final grade.  I cannot stress how important a syllabus is to a college course and that it should be referred to often! Trust me, giving a “F” to a student who did do some work and participated is difficult, but at the same time, I cannot grant a passing grade when the points are far from being at the passing level.

Thus, college students, please read your syllabus and do not make assumptions about grades. If your instructor does not give you this information, ask for it (it should be there as a syllabus is a contract!).  Also, remember instructors are human and have emotions, but we are also need to do our job and ensure course requirements are met by students.