I attended my 10 year hs reunion the weekend of the 4th. In some ways I dreaded going and was nervous, but in other ways I wanted to go for selfish reasons. That is, I’m a PhD candidate in sociology with much to be proud of now (my academic career, my teaching, partner, baby bunky, UN rep, etc) and I moved away from hometown Iowa.
Remember, baby bunky only arrived 6 months prior to this. My hair has been getting significantly shorter since then. Though I feel I look better than I did in hs, I don’t think I’m measuring up to my college days. Yes, I’m being vain, but we know physical appearance relates to self-concept and esteem.
So what happened and what are the highlights?
First, my class was somewhere between 200-300 people (I can’t rememeber and don’t really care exactly). About 50 people registered for the reunion, so it was only a small percentage of people.
We have a class of 96 webpage, where people could post bios before the reunion, which is an important part of this story. Of course mine was long and I listed all of my accomplishments. Why? As my best friend told me, I have the right to be proud because I’ve worked my tail off to get where I am at .
You might also wonder where my status was in hs? Well, see I was sort of in the middle. I don’t think I was a complete dork, but at the same time, I would never be labeled Ms. Popular. Actually most of my friends were older and out of hs. But the popular kids started hanging out at the parties I had been going to a long time before they did or knew the people I was friends with. But also, I was in the “smart” (i.e. AP) classes (which is a story for another time on my dislike of these and how vastly different they were from college). But a few years back, I had contact with fellow peer from these classes and she found it hard to believe I was pursuing my PhD (which again is another story about how in hs I made descent grades, but the classes bored me and comparatively in college, I loved school and graduated with a 3.9… would’ve been 4.0 minus Spanish and those two psych classes!).
Also, an odd thing, I thought was that the people organizing the reunion were two very popular, but nice women, and one guy, who you might define as pretty shy and not so popular in hs (he’s very nice and if you want to “define people”… a label may have been geeky, but from my perspective geeks are cool.. I married one!).
Ok, so partner and I arrive about a half hour after the reunion starts. It was held across the river in SD at the “rich” n’hood country club. T, who organized the event, was at the entrance and said there’s my friend “oblion” and gave em a hug. We chatted a few moments and updated each other on where we are and what we were doing.
Walking in the tiny room, people were still talking a bit in cliques, so I went for the beer. After a few beers, I started talking to people and here are the highlights of the evening.
B, the comic in hs who loved Seinfield, is in NYC. He stages fights for movies and tv. Awesome!
D, the Mormon smart guy, married A (who I thought would be a great actor). Now are divorced. D smoking a cigarette. I asked him if he was practicing anymore at this point. D, is a lawyer and A works with kids and going back to get masters in therapy.
A and I went to school together since kindergarten. He was a bit blasted. He starts yelling I’ve known you for so long oblion!
C, who I didn’t really know, apparently put Icy Hot all over the women’s toilets as H found out.
L, who was super nice and really pretty, but not always the brightest, told me my bios made her feel bad since she didn’t finish college. She told me her mom went crazy.
Talked to my best friend in elementary school. Her husband is one of those repo guys who takes away your house and property when you can’t pay anymore.
Talked to J about the debate club and how judging debates was a joke and how our travels across IA always took forever b/c debate coach would have to stop and smoke a cigarette every 10 miles.
L, who was not so pretty in hs, looked great. We told her so. She told others they looked great, but said nothing really to me about how I looked.
Talked with E, who I used to hang with a bit, and her friend. I thought said friend was not in our class, but he was. Looked at yearbook and still didn’t recognize him. Felt bad as he remembered me. Ooops.
Talked to R. She got her law degree, moved to NY to follow bf, but broke up. Back in IA and looking to move to Chicago as too hard to find lawyer job in NY if you’re not a family member of someone.
Talked to M, who’s 7 months prego about babies. She’s one of the two, who told me I looked good after having a baby.
After a few hours, we headed back over the river to a bar in hometown IA. To say the least, I didn’t feel so well the next day.
At the bar, I had a few interesting experiences.
Many of the guys I graduated with are staunch republicans and they couldn’t believe I was a liberal democrat.
S, who’s family and my family go back, and I talked. He was what I thought pretty popular in hs. He and I both talked about being nervous about coming to the reunion. His mom works at my family’s dentist office and so they chat about us. S told me his mom had been updating me and he thought it was great that I am getting my PhD. Go mom, for bragging about me at the dentist office!
R, the popular guy, who dressed this evening as he should be on Miami Vice, told me he was going to get married to his hs girl, L (mentioned early). Told her congrats and she didn’t have any idea about it. Have no clue if he was for real, but then they were kissing intimately after that!
Ok, so what’s my summary and analysis on this:
a) All the girls seem to have long hair. I don’t have long hair and I didn’t get complimented much on my looks. This makes me question the gendered assumptions about hair and looks. It also made me wonder about what’s considered “fashionable” in different locations (i.e. hometown IA vs bigger cities).
b) People still are cliquish in a way. Everyone was willing to talk with others, but there are still networks of people who talk to each other yet frequently. I only talk to one person from hs (who did not come to the reunion) about 2-3 x’s a year. I don’t really care to talk to most of the people that much. I made most of my close friends in college and grad school. I wonder if these people moved beyond these hs networks or not?
c) There are few liberals I went to school with. Doesn’t surprise me considering my hometown IA (though my parents are demos), many people there are pretty conservative.
d) I was told by one person I was the only one who sounded passionate and liked what they do now. This makes me feel good. I know I can complain about academia and grad school, but teaching and researching are my passions.
e) People were impressed by my bios. Some people felt intimidated (not my point),but others said it was great and I should be proud. I am!
f) I’m glad I went. It gave me some perspective on life.
